Secondhand Slytherin
by PseudonymousEntity
Summary: Just before the yule ball Harry receives advice from an unlikely source, which changes the night's course of events. Harry's just glad he isn't bored anymore. "They're going to stare regardless you know."
1. Chapter 1

**Secondhand Slytherin**

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**Secondhand Slytherin **by** Pseudonymous Entity**

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**Summary:** Just before the yule ball Harry receives advice from an unlikely source which changes the night's course of events. "They're going to stare regardless you know."

**Warnings:** I laugh in the face of canon. Ambiguous undertones.

**AN:** A little something from the back of my mind. I have to post them every so often or they become distracting.

**-Pseu**

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_"In all affairs it is a healthy thing now and then_

_To hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted."_

**-Bertrand Russell**

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In a world of car-sized arachnids and werewolves, it was somewhat reassuring to discover that school dances were the bane of every adolescent's existence, magical or otherwise.

The students at Hogwarts received the news of a winter ball scheduled that year as well as one might expect. In the brief moment of horrified silence following the announcement of the Yule Ball, denial was prevalent.

Weeks later and the panic was _palpable_. Everyone an unwilling participant in a contest with unknown rules. A date must be secured, robes must be pressed, confidence must ooze, palms must not sweat and dancing - Merlin forbid you missed a dance step. Privately, Harry took an odd sort of delight in watching the chaos around him. It was only fitting the rest should be just as miserable and anxiety-ridden as he was. Not a life or death thing, the ball. There wouldn't be any dragons that he was aware of.

Still, it gave him fluttery swoops of delight to watch a nearby fifth year Ravenclaw approach a golden-haired witch -Slytherin he thought- with the slow determined walk of a man who has been sentenced to death and nobly walks himself to the gallows. Harry's cheeks heated up, his throat filled with repressed laughter, and he felt certain the muscles in his face would soon be exhausted from grinning so much.

It really wasn't nice. But then, Harry didn't feel much like being nice as of late.

If he wasn't required to attend -and open the damn thing- as one of the contestants, Harry would have bowed out of the entire ordeal. He had in vain attempted to do so, in the beginning. When his head of house made it clear a lack of date was no excuse Harry gave in and asked Parvati Patil, a fellow Gryffindor with long dark hair, to go with him.

The calm Harry managed to maintain throughout the chaos began to slowly erode come the day of the ball. The shaking hands and stress induced muttering, pacing and wide-eyed full blown panic seeped into Harry infecting him. He soon found himself staring into the mirror attached to his wardrobe and pondering the merits of running to the library to memorize a glamour or two. Harry wasn't exactly _vain_ or anything but if he must be paraded about he may as well look good.

His hands reached down and straightened his bottle-green robes absently. There wasn't anything wrong with them that he could see. They looked nice enough. A good colour with a simple cut. No unnecessary frills. Harry grinned. Ron had been less than lucky in that department, with a much-outdated hand-me-down. His mother's instance that it was 'vintage' did nothing to make it any better.

Perhaps if Ron hadn't committed himself to being a wanker for the first part of the school year Harry may have had mercy and ordered him a set of plain black dress robes. As it was it suited Harry just fine to watch the other boy suffer.

He gave his appearance one last look over. Deciding it could be worse and it wasn't his fault he had to be there, Harry ran his fingers through his unruly inky black hair and messed it up with great abandon. There. With that act of rebellion, Harry turned on his heel and darted out the door. The stars down to the common room were strewn with shoes, ties, scarves and on one memorable occasion, an umbrella spelled to sing sonnets. He had absolutely no idea where the owner of said umbrella thought their night was going but could admit to being somewhat intrigued.

Not enough to stop and find the owner though.

His shoes hit the carpet of the common room and he ducked immediately. To shiny shoes went flying over this head. A sixth year on the other side of the stairs caught them and ran up the witches staircase, blonde ponytail flying behind her. Across the room, by the hearth, Fred and George fixed one another's robes. The pros of being identical meaning never needing to run for a mirror. Nearby Lee Jordan gave them very bad suggestions if the looks the twins were shooting him were any indication. Someone somewhere in the chaos was crying. He gave the room one sweep with eyes.

"Nope."

Harry put his hands in his pockets and made for the door, eyes on the ground. In situations like this, it was best to avoid eye contact or risk being pulled into someone else's drama. Harry had more than enough of his own thanks. The portrait swing open. Harry stepped out and felt his shoulders droop in relief. The change in volume was immediate.

He did see others on his way to the main staircase, but it seemed most people were either still fretting over their appearance -which at this point was a lost cause really- or off in hiding like Harry.

The main staircase, when he reached it, had only a low murmur of voices. A couple or two speaking on the stairs. No one he'd have to say hello to which was enough for him. He made his way to the bottom of the staircase and sat on the bottom step. Shiny shoes tapped on the stone floor absently, his right shoulder leaning against the bannister. Slowly the hall filled with more people. It was still a while yet before the ball even began and Harry couldn't even go sit at a table in the great hall and wait. As a champion, he had to enter dramatically after everyone else was seated.

Harry clicked his teeth and blew out a harsh breath that disrupted his bangs. He couldn't wait for this entire ordeal to done and over. What the heck was the_ point_? So the schools could show off their students? Watching them try not to make a fool of themselves -or die which was apparently a likely option- wasn't enough for them?

While _dying of boredom_ in ungainly heaps on that bottom step it slipped Harry's mind entirely that anyone would notice just how little effort he was putting into this. Or that they might care. Thus it came as a surprise when the footsteps he barely registered in the background noise of giggling adolescent twats came to a stop before the step he was perched on.

"Potter."

Harry pulled out of his thoughts quick enough to give himself mental whiplash. He looked up and blinked owlishly. "Draco?"

The blonde Slytherin stood there for no reason Harry could fathom. Dressed in blue high collared robes, Draco's grey eyes narrowed at Harry's person. It was hard not to be offended when Draco so obviously found Harry disappointing.

"Can I help you with something?" He snapped when the Slytherin seemed content to stare at him the rest of the night without explanation.

Draco lurched forward, grabbed Harry by the arm and pulled him to his feet. As he was manhandled down the hall and toward a darker, less populated corridor, Harry took the time to wonder if being so blatant about his boredom had been a temptation Fate couldn't resist. When his captor veered toward a washroom rather than a corner Harry couldn't decide if it was good luck or bad. He could be disposed of just as easily in a lavatory as a corner, he supposed. It probably made the clean up easier too, if things got messy.

Draco pushed Harry into the lavatory and shut the door behind them.

Harry's shoes slid in what he hoped was water. He grasped at the counter and steadied himself. Maybe faking sick _wouldn't_ have been a bad idea. It was much cooler in the bathroom than normal. Harry wondered if someone thought ahead that sweaty dancers might appreciate it.

Draco spun him around, grey eyes already flickering around Harry, from top to bottom and back again. "Honestly, I don't know why I'm bothering," Draco announced. Neither did Harry. Of course, Harry still had no idea what was happening. His heart was banging against his chest pretty good though, so at least he was getting some adrenaline out this...whatever it was.

Ambush.

Draco swished his wand in the general direction of Harry's robes. Creases and wrinkles Harry hadn't noticed slowly smoothed out. Draco's other hand on Harry's shoulder turned the Gryffindor this way and that while he made certain to get every last blemish or imperfection. It said a lot that Harry was just bored enough to let this happen and see where one earth it was going.

Draco took a step back and held up his wand horizontally. First up high, then lower. Harry realised he was measuring...something. Draco tilted his head, stepping forward to move Harry around again like his own personal Gryffindor dress-up doll. The cool fabric along Harry's sleeve slimmed and came closer against his skin, and the lower length along his torso did the same. Surprisingly not as constricting as Harry thought it would be. As Draco spun Harry again he caught a glimpse in the mirror. The robes did look nicer, he could admit. Though he had honestly thought they were okay to begin with. He could see the difference now.

How many other people would have noticed those imperfections?

Cool fingertips flashed at the corners of his eyes, flitting along his sides or down at the hem of his robes. Smoothing, pulling, shortening, lengthening and so on. Quickly and fluidly, something Draco had done on numerous occasions. He was spun around once more to face his abductor. Grey eyes set on his hair in utter despair. Harry smirked.

"I may have done that on purpose." He admitted.

Draco scowled. "You could at least pretend to care Potter. It's not enough you're in a position others wanted desperately to be in, which you so clearly disdain, you also represent our school to the international community. Whether you _like_ it or not. You could pretend that means something to you." Pale fingers tugged at Harry's mess of knots and tangles. "You're representing yourself as well. Is this really what you want the world to think of when they think of you?"

Harry sighed in exasperation. "I didn't ask for the attention did I?"

" And yet you have it," Draco responded. He released Harry's curls, tapping his wand against his palm thoughtfully. "Here's a wild idea. Just throwing it out there. Instead of whining about how unfair your life is and how unfair and inaccurate the topsy-turvey opinions of the world is, do something about it. Take charge of your life. Stop letting it happen to you and become an active participant."

Harry stared. "What?"

"Or even, now bare with me,_ win_."

"Win," Harry repeated.

Draco rolled his eyes. "The tournament you're in. The one you hardly deign to even show up for let alone put forth effort? Yeah. That. You could try to win. At the ball tonight will be important figures in magical society from all over the wizarding world. They have been and will be following the tournament closely. These are the people that run our world, Potter. That do stuff like fund Dragon sanctuaries, spell crafting, antidotes to disease like Lycanthropy, and even write laws and regulations for the treatment of the mudbloods you like so much. You have a chance to effect change and you...you just..."

Draco trailed off, frustration colouring his voice. It seemed he couldn't even look at Harry in that moment because he turned his head sharply and stared at the wall to his right. They stood there in the mostly silent lavatory, Harry staring at Draco, Draco staring at the wall, and one of the faucets leaking every so often._ Drip. Drip. Drip._

Draco curled his fingers around his wand tightly. "You're wasting it." He said, finally.

Grey eyes glanced at him.

Harry wasn't given the chance to formulate a response, which was just as well. Harry hadn't a clue what he was supposed to say to that. Draco straightened up and looked him over once more. A sharp poke to the middle of his back had Harry straightening his own spine in annoyance.

"Isn't there anyone you can emulate?" Draco demanded. He looked comically close to crossing his arms and stomping his foot. That was probably bred out of him at an early age, Harry knew. "Someone other than your Gryffindor friends you can mimic a bit? You must have some idea of what a put together and confident person, the sort who would get on well in this situation, might look like."

Harry was about to say he didn't really get the chance to dabble with the upper class while he was locked in his room or covered in soil from his aunt's garden, when he closed his mouth with a click. Because there _was_ someone he could think of. In fact, he knew exactly who would thrive at a function like this.

Harry turned away from Draco and looked at the mirror, trying to focus on the memory he had in mind. Trying to remember every detail. His shoulders slumped. He couldn't do his. He'd never pull it off and it would only get him more attention he didn't want.

"So what?" Draco asked.

Harry jumped. Had he said that last bit out loud?

The Slytherin moved beside him, looking into the mirror as well. The watched one another's reflections. One tall and fair. The other shorter, darker.

"We can't control them. Other people's opinions. Not entirely." Said Draco, quietly. "They're gonna think what they want to think about you no matter the evidence to the contrary. But you can_ try_ to affect what most people think. You can fashion yourself to suit yourself and own the self you present to the world while keeping the real you separate." He gave Harry a wry smile. "They're going to stare regardless you know. Why not give them a show?"

Why exactly he was letting a Slytherin talk him into anything at all he wasn't sure. But that rebellious bit of Harry. The part that laughed at other people when he shouldn't. The part that still remembered how mean everyone was in second year. That part of him couldn't resist the opportunity that was presented to him. The perspective he hadn't considered before now.

_We even look something alike._

Harry studied his reflection, placing the image of another right over the top. Comparing. He hadn't seen it so much back then. Now that he was older he could see that Tom had been right. Thick brows, hollow cheeks, wide mouth. Different eye colour of course. Harry tried to stand as he had, back not perfectly straight but also not slouching. Shoulders back and relaxed. Assured. That's what Tom had been. Certain. Absently, he shifted his weight and tilted his chin down a bit.

Hmm.

"I don't suppose you know any hair-"

The words were scarcely out of his mouth before Draco was reaching into his robes and pulling out a small jar. His fingers loosened the lid and he started dolloping a small helping of whatever it was into Harry's hair without a by your leave. Harry snorted. Trust Draco to have hair product on him in case of emergencies.

He ran it through all of Harry's curls. Detangling and smoothing. From Harry's bangs to the crown of his head, o the back and the down by his ears and the base of his neck. Here he paused for a moment to examine Harry, perhaps trying to divine whether he'd gotten all of Harry's crows nest. When he finished he washed his hands and put away the jar. Harry looked at his hair in the mirror again. Still not quite. The Gryffindor reached up and parted it at the side, wrapping his fingers around various pieces of curl until it looked just like he remembered. He looked himself over critically.

Oh. Right.

Harry pulled out his wand, crossed his free arm across his middle, bent his other arm at the elbow and brought that hand up to chin height. His fingers twirled his wand. Harry stared at himself. It really was uncanny. A little unnerving. And yet...

_And yet._

Harry glanced to the side to see what Draco thought. Not that he cared.

The Slytherin had a single pale brow raised. It wasn't one of the 'why are you so thick' brows. So that was probably a good sign. Draco pulled Harry back away from the still dripping sink and then proceeded to circle around him. His muted footsteps the only sound outside the leaky faucet in their mostly abandoned bathroom, fingertips trailing along the top of Harry's shoulders. It smelled like mint, Harry noted. Had it always smelled of mint in here? He couldn't remember.

"You know," Draco mused. "You might not be half bad at this." He took a single step forward. Long fingers reached out and fixed a wayward curl. "It'll do well for tonight. Very satisfactory."

Draco turned, walking out. Harry was staring for a moment before he stumbled forward and followed after him. They walked back down the corridor toward the main entrance hall, loud murmurings of excited voices growing with every step. Enough time passed for most people to be meeting up with their friends or dates. A group of Hufflepuffs darted past them, laughing. None of them paid Harry or Draco any mind.

They reached the crowd. Harry paused just feet away at the same time Draco did. Did he thank him? It wasn't exactly done for Harry's benefit. More out of misplaced frustration and jealousy really. Still, he probably should. Right?

Maybe?

Harry turned to thank Draco only to find the Slytherin much closer than expected.

"Er..."

Draco ignored Harry's discomfort, choosing to pull the glasses from his face. Harry made a noise of objection. He actually needed those. It's not like they were for looks. Draco flicked Harry's forehead in response. "Be patient prat," Draco ordered. He proceeded to lean closer much to Harry's alarm. Then there was a bright blue light in Harry's eyes and e was blinking rapidly. The hand Draco was waving in front of his face slowly came into focus. Harry looked around experimentally. He could see!

Cool fingers tilted Harry's head from their position on his chin. He hadn't even noticed Draco doing that. He jumped when Draco pulled Harry's robe to the side, placing his glasses into his inside pocket. Draco straightened Harry's robes, smoothed down the shoulders and arms and gave him one final look over. With a nod, the blonde left Harry standing there without another word, blue robes billowing behind him. Harry snorted. _Slytherins._

Always so dramatic.

He pulled his eyes away to survey the entrance hall. Spying long dark hair he walked forward. "Parvati?"

The Gryffindor witch turned around, red and gold robes swaying. Her smile faded and her eyes widened. "Harry? You look...you look great. I..." She trailed off, blinking. Off to the side, the rest of the students were already entering the great hall.

Harry offered Parvati his arm and lead her over to other champions and their dates. While his head of house gave a last-minute speech to the champions Harry went over a mental checklist. Relaxed shoulders, straight but not stiff posture. Breathe. He didn't know how well he could fake this, in all honesty. Looking the part was different from playing it. Still, Draco had a decent point. Maybe Harry was looking a gift horse in the mouth. Maybe playing the social game a bit could give him a little more control over his life. It wasn't as if he could have any less.

The doors swung open and the Champions started forward. He could do this. All he had to do was play the part. Ask himself, what would Tom Riddle do? That really wasn't something he'd ever thought he'd need to think about. Setting a Basilisk on the ball was obviously out. Harry turned automatically, taking Parvati's hands in his. The music started.

_One-two-three. Twirl. One-two-three. Step back. One-two-three..._

Later, after dinner was eaten and the music began again for everyone, Harry found himself standing politely with various groups of the adults. He allowed Parvati to show him off a bit and introduce him. Her father was the ambassador to India which Harry hadn't known, and she knew quite a few people there. In the beginning, Harry was sure to watch the others in the group for cues. When to bow and when to offer a handshake, titles and that sort of thing. As long as he didn't say much and stayed polite it went fine. It didn't take long for him to relax and feel more comfortable. It was sort of thrilling, actually. Playing a part no one knew you were playing. It gave you a thrill right down in your middle.

At one point Harry caught a glimpse of white-blonde hair. He shot Draco a grin when he noticed he was watching Harry's progress around the room. "...and this is Minister Fudge."

Harry turned back. Parvati had lea him to a new group. He zeroed in on Fudge in his bowler hat straight away. Harry gave a short bow and a small smile. "We've met. Hello, again Minister."

Fudge returned his smile, pleased. "Yes, yes much better circumstances isn't it? You've grown a lot since last I saw you. Fine work you're doing in the tournament so far, my boy. That dragon business? Well done indeed."

Harry shrugged his shoulders in a self-deprecating way. "Just a bit of flying, sir."

"A bit of flying he says." Another wizard repeated, amused.

Harry allowed the conversation to continue around him, his date singing his praises, Harry modestly confirming, and he adults praising him in turn for being so humble. The sort of thing he might see at one of his Uncle Vernon's business parties when he was young, peeking out from his cupboard. Or even, when he felt especially daring and Dudley could be counted on to keep silent out of shared curiosity, from the top of the stairs. Harry tilted his head, banishing that memory away. He smelled mint.

A glass of punch waved its self in front of his face. Harry glanced up. The group had grown and rearranged its self, leaving him just a bit farther out from it. He looked up at the owner of the cup to see grey eyes. Blinking, Harry took the cup. He glanced back over a Parvati but she seemed just fine with whomever the witch was she was gossiping with.

"You know," Said Harry. "There's a fine line between support and _stalking_. I hope you plan to stay on the right side of it or else I'll have to question your intentions."

Draco took a healthy sip from his punch, amused. "But your right is my left, and doesn't that leave the right and wrong of it up to perspective?"

Harry rolled his eyes and took a sip of his own tasted good, Harry decided. He swished the glass, wondering what was in it.

"I haven't done anything to it," Draco said. Harry flushed, he hadn't meant to stare into his cup that long. "Can't say the same for the twins, however." Harry turned to look where Draco indicated. On the far side of the room, the Weasley twins seemed to have momentarily taken over serving the punch. Nothing good would come of that he was sure.

He felt hands on his shoulder. He snapped his attention forward. Draco smoothed the fabric down his arms and straightened his outer robe, grey eyes looking him over. Who knew he was such a perfectionist?

"Have a good night Potter." Draco murmured finally, raising his punch in a mocking toast. Off he went, to do his own rounds of the social scene Harry assumed.

A hand on his arm had him turning to see Parvati. "Is that for me?" She asked. Harry looked down at the punch in his hand. He'd only had a few drinks of it. With a small smile, he offered it to her. He was pulled back into the group and the conversation continued. Parvati had been a fantastic bit of luck, really. She did a lot of the socializing for him. He found himself lead over to a food table, cleverly on the opposite side of the student's punch and cakes table. He peered at brightly coloured wrapped something on a platter beside some tea cakes.

"Those are Viridian chocolates," Parvati informed him, helpfully. "They have different ingredient combinations and act like a shot of potion. In only lasts a moment though. Like this one here is white chocolate, lavender and lemon. It's light and calming. See? Would you like one?"

Harry shrugged. Parvati smiled at him and leaned forward to look the chocolates over. "Let's see. There are lemon and raspberry filled, that one has lavender as you know and the raspberry has peppercorn. This one is caramel and butter rum with cinnamon. That one is dark chocolate and faerie wine, it'll make you laugh a bit too much if you're not careful. This is a standard Mint-"

Harry looked up. "I like mint."

Parvati handed him a chocolate wrapped in shiny blue paper, then picked up one of her own. Harry folded back the paper on his own chocolate and popped it into his mouth. A coolness rushed through him, and a sense of comfortable calm. It was divine. They stayed there for a little while longer, tasting all the different treats laid out.

A low bell tolled. Not enough to interrupt or startle anyone, but just loud enough to be heard.

"Oh, it's ten-thirty." Said Parvati. "I think it's best we wind down now and consider heading back before too long. I don't think I've had _quite_ enough of the Weasley's punch to stay out until midnight."

Harry nodded. "Nor I."

Parvati frowned suddenly. Harry looked over his shoulder to see what she was looking at. Her twin, Harry didn't know her name, was sat on a chair in pretty purple robes looking quite put out. Beside her Ron slouched in his frilly red robes, arm crossed. Yikes. Harry turned back to Parvati and offered his arm.

"Shall we embark on a rescue mission?"

She gave him a grin and they made their way through the dancers. He never managed to discover what had Ron so set on ignoring his date, Parvati's sister latched onto them the moment she saw them. Looping her arm into her sister's, the three of them left the hall with the small crowd of students who decided to get to sleep at a reasonable time. Ascending the stairs where just hours earlier Harry had been accosted by a Slytherin, Harry decided that the ball hadn't been so bad. He reached into his robe pocket, pulled out a chocolate wrapped in shining blue paper and popped it into his mouth.

At least it wasn't boring.

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**Pseudonymous Entity**

**2019**

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_Thoughts, Questions, Theories, and Limericks always welcomed_

**AN:** Thoughts?

**-Pseu**


	2. Chapter 2

**Secondhand Slytherin**

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**Secondhand Slytherin **by** Pseudonymous Entity**

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**Summary:** Just before the yule ball Harry receives advice from an unlikely source which changes the night's course of events. "They're going to stare regardless you know."

**Warnings:** I laugh in the face of canon. Ambiguous undertones.

**AN: **To be clear, this story won't be following in exact step w/ canon. Some things will stay similar. For instance, Harry was still chosen from the Goblet of Fire, and he and Ron still had a falling out. Viktor Krum still asked Hermione to the ball and Harry still got dates for Ron and himself. Most everything else is fair game.

**-Pseu**

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_"I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each_

_I do not think that they will sing to me."_

**-T.S. Elliot**

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It was to a quiet dorm Harry woke that Saturday.

From the light of the sun through the window, Harry knew he hadn't managed to sleep past brunch. He suspected, ball or no ball, Hermione might have hauled him out of his bed if he had. He sat up with a groan., stretching long and slow. Harry drew his curtains the rest of the way open. The other beds had unconscious occupants so it was safe to assume everyone made it back eventually. He and Seamus had been the only ones to return by eleven. Harry didn't know who the other wizard had gone to the ball with but from the wide smile on his face he'd had a good time. He reived an exhausted nod from Seamus when he came out of the bathroom. The Irishman flopped unceremoniously on his bed and that was that.

Harry vaguely recalled someone stumbling in an hour or so later.

It appeared the others were too tired to bother with nightclothes. Dean and Neville both had at least taken off their shoes and outer robes before flinging themselves on their beds. Ron apparently didn't need such luxuries in order to fall asleep. The redhead sprawled on his orange comforter, one fully clothed leg complete with laced boot dangling over the edge.

Harry slid off his bed, feet on the carpet and stretched once more. He and Ron weren't on the best terms yet, even after the apology he received, and Harry didn't fancy waiting for the others to decide to wake from the dead either. He grabbed his hygiene bag and hit the shower.

Twenty minutes later Harry stood in front of a steaming mirror with a towel wrapped around his waist. He had intended on washing his hair until he realized the product Draco put in it the night before was still present. Which found him now running his fingers under the faucet and then dragging them through his curls experimentally. He wouldn't be able to get them quite as perfect as Draco managed, but then, perfection was Draco's thing. Not Harry's.

Satisfied, Harry scooped up his pyjamas and opened the door.

Harry took one step into the dorm and stopped short. Neville had awakened as some point while Harry was in the bathroom was now excitedly telling one of his plants all about the night he had. He held the potted plant -which spat out poisonous goo if Harry remembered right- aloft and spoke to it while making big gestures with his other hand. Harry turned his head and grinned.

Neville froze as if sensing someone else in the room, and very slowly turned around.

Harry waved.

"How...how long have you been standing there?" He asked.

Harry shrugged, stepping farther into the room and letting the door shut behind him. "Long enough for curiosity to turn into regret."

Neville flushed. "Oh...I...I was just.."

"It's fine Neville." Said Harry, giving him a pat on the shoulder as he walked by. "I talk to _snakes_. Who am I to complain if you want to talk to plants?" Harry opened his wardrobe and tossed his night clothes on a shelf. He didn't really have much of anything that fit and he didn't usually pay it much mind. But he did have fun last night wearing his Riddle mask. What could it hurt to do it a little longer? If he didn't get anything out of it he could always stop and say it was a phase or something.

Harry ended up wearing his uniform bottoms and pulling on his new Weasley sweater. He wouldn't be able to get away with it every day unless he pretended he had a collection of green jumpers. It would suit his purposes today anyway. Running his fingers through his curls once more Harry picked up his shoes and was out the door.

The hall and the stairs leading down to the common room were quieter than normal for Gryffindor house. Most everyone still sleeping it seemed. There weren't many people in the common room either. A few tired students around the couches. Perhaps a few new couples here and there.

Harry leaned against the wall by the stairs and pulled on his shoes. Giggling brought his attention over to the withes staircase. Parvati descended the steps, braiding her long her. Lavender Brown, a witch with violet eyes, golden curls and a headband with a sunflower on it followed after her.

"Harry!" Said Parvati, spying Harry. She stopped in front of him, tying off the bottom of her braid and flinging it over her shoulder. "We were just headed to brunch."

Harry finished pulling on his last shoe and stood up straight. "Same for me actually."

Parvati nodded. She glanced at Lavender and then at the wizards' staircase speculatively. "Waiting for Weasley?"

"Which one?" Harry countered, smiling.

Lavender giggled in her hand. Parvati gave him a wry smile of her own. "That's a no then. Unless you've decided to take up being coy."

"Definitely not."

Parvati nodded. She took hold of his left arm and Lavender his right. "Escort us to brunch then, Mister Potter."

They left the common room for the corridor and made their way through the halls. More than one seventh year stumbled unexpectedly from a broom closet much to Lavender's delight. Red-faced the unfortunate wizard or witch (sometimes more than one) would about-face and walk away on unsteady feet. By the time they reached the main floor and approached the great hall, they'd seen a walk of shame from every house at least once.

Alcoholic beverages were equal opportunity reputation destroyers.

A witch at the Ravenclaw table got up from the beach and met them halfway to the Gryffindor table. Parvati's sister whose name Harry still couldn't remember. She looked just like her twin in most ways. Her hair was half pulled up rather than a braid, and instead of Parvati's flowy skirt she wore dark grey slacks and an equally grey jumper.

"Padma!" Parvati greeted.

Her sister surprised Harry by giving him a quick hug. "Thank you again for rescuing me," Padma said, flashing him a wide smile.

"Was it that bad?" He asked, acutely aware that he was the one to arrange her date with Ron. They were probably the best looking girls in their year and Ron had seemed pleased at the time when Harry told him about the arrangement. He couldn't quite understand what went wrong.

She sighed and waved an unpolished hand. "It could have been worse certainly. Still, not quite the way I imagined the night going." She fell into step beside her sister, walking with them the rest of the way to the Gryffindor table.

Harry took a seat at the nearly empty table. Parvati sat to his left, her sister across from her. Lavender sat on Harry's other side. The blonde leaned forward, arms on the table. "At least he was cute?" She offered Padma, sympathetically.

"Thank Merlin for that," Padma said, dryly.

They helped themselves to the food on the table, Parvati and Lavender telling Padma everything she'd missed out on during the night. Some of the other students began to trickle in. The Weasley Twins and Lee Jordan collapsed just down from where Harry sat. Harry looked at their glossy eyes and messy hair with a grin.

"You look like you only _just_ survived a tornado." He said.

Fred shot him a half-hearted glare across the table, nursing a cup of coffee. "Women are a lot of work." He said solemnly.

George nodded from his spot to the right of Lavender. Lee patted his back, though his face was grinning. None of them looked like they got a lot of sleep but Lee Jordan definitely escaped with less damage than either of the twins did. George took a bite out of a sandwich and then laid his head down on the table with a groan.

Harry snickered.

"Yeah laugh it up," Fred said grumpily.

Harry shrugged. "Sorry. I've seen the unfortunate victims of your punch all morning and can't find it within myself to feel very sorry for you."

Fred downed his coffee and started refilling it. "Did you sit in a corner all night whining like Ron then? You look relatively unscathed. At least we had a little...socialization." He said, with a slight smirk. The coffee was apparently curing whatever ailed him.

Harry was certain he and Fred were thinking of two different kinds of socialization.

"Now that isn't true." Said Parvati. "Harry ended the night with my sister and I. Isn't that right Pad?"

Padma played along gamely. "That it is." She said, placing her chin in her hand and staring off dreamily.

Fred choked on his coffee. He hit himself on the chest a few times and the pointed at them. "Fourths years shouldn't make such lewd insinuations this early in the morning." He didn't seem too upset though.

_"Early?"_ Lavender asked. "It's nearly ten-fifteen."

George sat up, wide eyed. "Is it really?" He grabbed Lee Jordan's wrist and stared at his watch. "Damn." George stuffed some toast in a napkin, grabbed a cup of coffee and took off muttering about being late. Lee and Fred laughed merrily at his expense.

"Tell Alicia we say hi!" Fred called at his brother's back.

"Johnson doesn't expect you to meet her?" Parvati asked, curiously.

Lee snorted.

"Godric no." Said Fred, with a shudder. "If I tried to wake her before noon she'd kill me. An Avada straight to the face. Wouldn't even open her eyes."

"That's how you know she's a keeper." Said Lee.

Fred toasted Lee with his coffee. "Too right." He and Lee stood and shook off any crumbs. "Well, I'm off to sell some hangover cures. Have a lovely day fourth years!" Fred said, giving them a cheery wave.

Harry grabbed Lee's left behind plate and slid his untouched pancakes onto his plate. No reason to let them go waste. About this time the sound of thousands of feathers in the air brought his attention toward the ceiling. The owls had arrived with the post. Many of them circling before taking a perch along the windowsills or wherever space was available. Their intended recipients not yet recovered from the previous night. He caught off guard when four or five owls landed at the Gryffindor table in front of him. He thought they were for the girls until he noticed all three watching with curiosity.

Harry shoved a plate of sausage at the owls and carefully began detaching their burdens. Four letters and two packages. Harry stacked the packages on one another and stared at the letters. Christmas was the day before and even if they were late cards or gifts they weren't from anyone he thought he knew. Harry broke the seal on the back of the first one and pulled out the letter. He looked down at the end at the signature.

"Minister Fudge?" His eyebrows raised.

Parvati scooted closer immediately. "Is it really?"

Harry nodded, handing her the letter. Parvati read it through, brown eyes zooming across the parchment. "There's a letter from Devlin Whitehorn in there. Minister Fudge says Mister Whitehorn has been raving about your flying ever since the first task."

Harry blinked.

Parvati glanced up. "You remember him. Older wizard with hair and short clipped beard? He was with the Minster's group. Commented on your flying."

Oh right.

"Found it." Said Lavender. She held it out or Harry.

"You can open it if you like," Harry said.

Lavender squealed. She broke the seal with a manicured finger. "_Oh_, you've got Quidditch tickets." She shook out the envelope and three tickets fell out. "One for the next three matches for England, and a season pass to a top box. Nice going Potter."

Harry snatched them out of her hands. She was right. "Why would he do that?" He asked, perplexed.

"Says here he quite impressed with your flying and would like to arrange for you to try out prototypes they're working on for the newest Nimbus broom." Said Lavender, reading from the letter.

Parvati exchanged a smile with Padma. "A little unfair that I was the one to introduce you to Mister Whitehorn. Where are _my_ personally delivered tickets from the Nimbus CEO I ask? Alas." She put a hand to her forehead dramatically.

Harry grinned held out the tickets. "I only really need the box pass so if you want you can-"

"Thank you," Parvati said, taking them and fanning herself with the tickets.

Harry snorted. "Didn't think you liked Quidditch so much."

"She doesn't." Lavender rolled her violet eyes. "What fancies is less the game and more the players. Particularly if they're Scottish and commanding."

Harry turned to Parvati, smirking. "Wood? You fancy _Wood_?"

Parvati flushed. "We all have our preferences." She took several sips of her juice and avoided looking up, afraid someone would have heard their conversation and Lavender's confession. She didn't need to worry. Even with the few more students coming into the Great Hall, most of the students were still elsewhere. Especially the Gryffindors. The price they paid for having the Weasley Twins in their house.

Lavender laughed, reaching out for one of the boxes Harry had forgotten about. "This is from Mister Whitehorn too. Mind if I have a look?"

Harry put his pass down. "Yeah, might as well see what other spoils I've gotten."

Lavender ripped open the packaging and peered inside. "Perhaps I ought to cosy up to Quidditch folk too." She said.

Parvati leaned around Harry and dragged the box closer to them. Inside was a pair of boots even Harry could tell were expensive. He pulled one out. It was made out of something with scales. They were all over the boot, bluish-black and glossy.

"Dragonhide." Said Parvati. "Hungarian Horntail most like, considering the first task."

Before Harry could say anything else Parvati slid the box across the table toward her sister. "Pad?"

Padma finished the last bite of her blueberry muffin, sitting up and lifting out the remaining boot. She examined it. "Empathetically sourced hide. From shed skin, deceased animal or one killed in self-defense." She pushed the box back across the table.

Harry felt relieved to hear that.

"Don't worry." Said Parvati. "No magical creatures will be hunted on your behalf. I made certain to drop hints that such items would be refuse on principle and you can always write a note if something gets through that while you thank the sender for their generosity you can't in good conscience accept such a gift."

Harry looked between the witches he was seated with. "How did you know I would mind?"

Parvati cleared her throat. "I couldn't know for certain but based on past experience I went ahead and made the assumption." She lowered her voice. "You spent a lot of time with Professor Lupin last year. Everyone knows you were his favourite. And you didn't seem surprised when news of his...lycanthropy came out. Then there was Care of Magical Creatures. Did you very well. It came to you rather naturally and you seemed distressed when they sentenced that Hippogryph to...termination."

"Then during the first task," Padma continued. "You took care not to harm the dragon or her clutch. It makes sense to figure from the evidence that you are in favour of magical creatures, whether dark or dangerous or otherwise."

Lavender nodded.

Huh.

Harry leaned closer to Parvati. "Did you know I once rescued an illegally hatched baby dragon and sent away with dragon tamers in the middle of the night?"

Parvati narrowed her eyes. "You didn't."

Harry grinned. "Don't you remember when Gryffindor lost all of those points overnight first year?"

She stared at him. "_You didn't!_"

"I did." He said. Both Padma and Lavender had scooted closer by now. "I also once released a big snake from a muggle zoo. I was ten."

Lavender clapped her hands. "Well!" She pulled the boots out of the box and handed them to him. "Best where your new boots with pride Harry Potter, defender of dragons."

"Savior of serpents." Suggested Padma.

Harry snorted. He slid his legs over the bench and began untying his shoes.

"Friend to the Ferocious?" Offered Paravati.

Harry looked up at her in exasperation. "You are all being ridiculous." He pulled on both boots, making certain his pant legs were inside them. Harry stood and shifted his weight a bit. They felt fine. He bounced up and down on them. They felt really fine. He'd never had shoes so nice. Hell he'd never been this_ close_ to shoes so nice.

"Oh look, a book on egg laying creatures." Said Lavender. "And another on...riddles."

"There's a note." Said Padma, who'd immediately reached out to look at the books. "It says _Mister Potter, knowing of your fondness for creature kind and your recent hobby, I believe you may find the books enclosed of interest. All the luck for the future._"

Harry knelt on the bench and held out his hand for the note. He looked it over, frowning. "Recent hobby?"

"Dragon racing for instance." Said Parvati.

Harry's mouth formed into an 'O'. It was about the tournament. "Isn't that cheating?"

"Cheating as outlined in the guidelines for the Triwizard Tournament and most international tournaments is defined as explicit interference with expressed purpose to aid in cheating or unfair advantage." Recited Lavender. "Since the sender only states you might find them interesting, not that they should help you cheat, it isn't considered cheating at all. Rather lax isn't it? But subtle not-cheating has always been an aspect of such games."

Harry blinked several times.

Lavender lifted her chin in a smug sort of way, violet eyes glinting with mischief and cleverness.

"Her father is a private solicitor." Explained Parvati, shutting Harry's mouth. "She's got all sorts of interesting tidbits in that pretty head. Ask her to recite the school charter sometime. McGonagal has made it her life's mission to get Lav on her uniform. Hasn't managed it yet."

It was worrying how little he was turning out to know about his fellow students. Draco was a perfectionist and knew non-verbal tailoring charms, Parvati grew up socializing with leaders of foreign countries, and now Lavender was a closet legal expert with a photographic memory. What next? Did Seamus teach figure skating to underprivileged werewolves in his free time?

"I do have to ask."

Harry snapped his gaze to Parvati.

"Where you learned to charm people so well. I never ran into you at any social functions. Not before Hogwarts and not after. You never go to any ministry functions." She continued. "Yet last night you appear before me and you were suddenly different. The way you held yourself, your mannerisms. I had expected you to keep us to the dance floor all night, but you were the one to lead us toward the adults. You let me choose where to go specifically but _you_ took us in that direction."

The other two witches were watching intently from the corners of their eyes, though they acted like they weren't. Harry knew Parvati was trying to trap him. To trick some information out of him. But he had know idea what she was looking for. Instinctively Harry fell into the persona he'd crafted the night before. Letting his shoulders fall back, his muscles relax. It was less wearing a mask and more stepping into a memory.

"I was different." Harry repeated. He tilted his chin down and looked up at Parvati through his lashes. "And here I thought I'd taken the night off from pretending." Harry made to stand, his voice turning woeful. "I suppose I shall go in search of some _other_ witches who won't question my authenticity."

Parvati and Lavender grabbed his arms and pulled him back down. Harry allowed himself to fall back on to the bench, losing his hurt expression. Parvati rolled her eyes, exasperated. Lavender laughed, covering her mouth with her hand. Nails shiny in the light.

"Who knew Harry had such flair for dramatics?" Parvati muttered.

Who indeed.

* * *

**Pseudonymous Entity**

**2019**

* * *

_Thoughts, Questions, Theories, and Limericks always welcomed_

**AN:** What do you think of my renditions of the characters so far? And who knew playing pureblood games and politics could get results so quickly? One needs to tread lightly...

**ANx2** : Definitely unedited.

**-Pseu**


	3. Chapter 3

**Secondhand Slytherin**

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**Secondhand Slytherin **by** Pseudonymous Entity**

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**Summary:** Just before the yule ball Harry receives advice from an unlikely source which changes the night's course of events. "They're going to stare regardless you know."

**Warnings:** I laugh in the face of canon. Ambiguous undertones.

**AN:** Last chapter and the next few are setting up things that will come into play later. Lots of fun little things thrown in for you guys to catch if you can. This won't be the longest story ever, probably only going through fourth year. But, as I said, I'm not following canon outside of the events I listed in the other chapter, so anything could happen. Hopefully it will prove entertaining.

**-Pseu**

* * *

_"Was it worth it? Was it perfect? When you up and left me cynical?_

_Like you planned it, you're a bandit - __Just a no good, too big, filthy, rotten criminal_

_Let me count the ways: five, six, seven ate my words_

_Right from the silver plate, we checked in checked out, checkmate_

_I couldn't keep you honest 'cause I was just a card you played..."_

**-All Time Low**

* * *

Harry pulled on a white button-up he still had from third year.

The uniforms tended to be sized up according to a predetermined average rate of growth and Harry would never be anything but a bit on the smaller side. While generally, he didn't mind the roomier clothes -which were still miles better than Dudley's hand me downs- he had Herbology with the Hufflepuffs first thing that morning and the last you needed in that class was extra fabric for a plant with thorns, spines or _teeth_ to latch on to.

After a moment's hesitation, Harry pulled on his dragonhide boots, stuffing his slacks down in them. They were nigh indestructible, why not make use of them? What was the point in having them if he wasn't going to use them?

Harry slung his bookbag over his shoulder and went down to the common room. He and Ron weren't technically fighting anymore but things were still uncomfortable between them. Nothing like it was before. Harry didn't know how long it would take to get back to where they were. Until then, he avoided the stilted conversations and awkward silences to the best of his ability. Maybe it wasn't the best choice on his part. Maybe he ought to push through until everything settled into place. Either way, whether he should or shouldn't, Harry chose to continue the rest of the way down the staircase without looking back.

Because why worry now when he could worry later?

"Harry!"

Parvati was leaning against the back of a couch talking to two wizards Harry thought might fifth or sixth years. They left as Harry approached. Parvati flashed him a smile, flicking her braid over her shoulder. She had two books under her arm which she shoved into a purple bag decorated with glittery strands of beads.

"Up early? We're making this a habit."

Harry shrugged. "Yeah, I guess we are."

"Moooorning." Sang out Lavender. She pressed a kiss to Harry's cheek and then Parvati's. "Isn't it a wonderful morning? The seventh years have been up for hours and still haven't completed their work if that frenzied commotion upstairs is anything to go by. First years are still asleep because four months in they _still_ haven't managed to adjust their sleep schedules. Granger is over by the hearth scribbling an additional unwanted five pages on a charm assignment not due for another three days. It must be a Monday." Lavender reached up and adjusted her headband, bracelets clinking.

"A very unusual Monday." Said Parvati. "Harry is up early."

"I did see that." Said Lavender. Her dangling earrings swayed as she turned her head. "To what do we owe the unexpected pleasure? And may I say those boots go with everything? Because they do. A wizard's green jumper. A school uniform. My new shorts..."

"Lavender." Parvati admonished. "I thought we decided jealousy wasn't a good look on anyone?" She bumped her shoulder against Lavender's.

The golden-haired witch put a hand to her forehead and gave a dramatic sigh, leaning back against the couch and sliding down. "I know my dearest, I know! Alas! My inner selfish dragon horde requires an exact pair of those boots or I shall surely perish from envy." Quite a few sixth years were watching them now, laughing.

Parvati gave Harry an exasperated glance. "Quick. Let's get her out of here before we die of secondhand embarrassment."

"Perish." Lavender corrected.

"Right. Before we _perish_ of secondhand embarrassment."

"Oh wait, Harry?" Harry looked toward the couch by the fireplace. Hermione Granger, a tan witch with big coffee coloured eyes and thick hair, waved at him. She did indeed appear to have homework on the table in front of her, as Lavender guessed. "What did you choose for your Charms essay? I'm worried I may have been too obvious. Though I did try to look for non-traditional sources. That may well do, I suppose. Oh, hello Parvati. Lavender." Said Hermione, trailing off. She looked from Harry to the two other Gryffindor girls. Hermione's eyes narrowed. She spun in her seat, thick curly ponytail swishing, lifting up on her knees to look over the back of her couch at Harry. Her eyes trailed from his boots to his hair which he had once again attempted to tame.

"Well don't you look nice." She teased.

Harry felt his cheeks heat up. "I looked nicer over the weekend. Not much I can do with a uniform."

Hermione hummed, an odd smile on her lips. "What are you up to so early?"

"We were going to head to breakfast, I think?" He glanced at Parvati who nodded.

"Oh, is it time already? Hang on for a moment. I'll walk down with you. Let me just get my things packed up real quick." Hermione spun back around started piling up parchment neatly. That was when Harry noticed her hair pulled into a ponytail, which wasn't that unusual if not a common thing she did. It was the red hair ribbon that had him surprised. Hermione didn't usually bother with such things. Then again, neither did he.

"You know Harry, I could help you with your uniform if you like." Said Lavender quietly.

Her own uniform consisted of a close-fit short sleeved button-up, a pleated grey skirt with a bow on the back and dark blue stockings, which matched the blue headband she was wearing that day. Harry had known she wore her uniform differently than the standard one you could pick up in Diagon Alley, but hadn't ever given it much thought in passing. Beside her Parvati's skirt was also grey, this time long and flowy. She also wore coloured stockings, in violet. He remembered Parvati saying something about Lavender knowing the school regulations well enough that she could get away with her alterations to the uniform, even though it displeased their head of house.

Harry shifted his weigh on his feet, looking down at his uniform. He didn't know if it was a witch thing or not, but he really didn't think he needed to be that creative. Clothes that fit and didn't get caught on potentially deadly plant life was more than enough for him. "The only thing I'd like at the moment is better fitting slacks. Less loose fabric. I wore a smaller shirt for the same effect but these already are my bottoms from last year. I didn't bother getting new ones because I knew these were still a little big." Said Harry. He shrugged.

Parvati looked him over. "We could tailor that, couldn't we?"

Lavender nodded. "Get his measurements and I could spend some time altering them."

"I don't suppose either of you knows the charms that let you just..." He mimed swishing a wand.

Parvati raised a brow. "Alteration spells, not charms. And we could if we knew them. You need at least two people to do it, one to alter the texture of the fabric to make it stretch or tighten, and one to remove or add fabric, change pattern and thickness. That's not even taking into account that _each_ material reacts differently. Acromatula silk versus down or leather or moon cotton. It all reacts to magic differently and it takes a lot of concentration. I think just using some scissors and some thread is easier. Unless you want to wait and send it out?"

Lavender nodded.

"Ah...no. I don't need to send it anywhere."

Hermione joined them and they headed out of the portrait. Harry walked with the three witches frowning. Draco had done the alteration spells on his own at the Yule Ball and didn't look all that hard then. Of course, Harry didn't know for certain if he was using the same spells the girls were thinking of, because Parvati didn't say what they were called and even if she did Draco had cast them nonverbally. He guessed it wasn't the most pressing mystery in the world and soon shoved it to the back of his mind.

As they neared the bottom of the main staircase Harry spotted Viktor Krum leaning against a wall, looking around the entrance hall. He glanced over at Hermione with her red hair ribbon and her eyes on a book she was reading while walking. Viktor had taken her to the ball. Was he the reason she was wearing a ribbon.

Harry stepped closer to the studious Gryfindor witch. "Hermione?"

Hmm?" She murmured. Harry checked to make sure Viktor was still there. He was and he had spotted Hermione.

"You know, you should invite Viktor to sit with you for breakfast."

Hermione squeaked, nearly tripped. Harry grabbed her shoulder to steady her. She looked up at him startled, cheeks flushed. "W-what? Oh no, I couldn't I..." She looked at the ground. "I couldn't I just..." She chewed her lip, flustered.

Feeling mischievous Harry bounded down the stairs leaving a squawking Hermione behind him. He walked right over to Viktor who appeared to have been watching the entire exchange with interest. The Bulgarian seeker was tall with broad shoulders and thick dark brows. Much the same as when Harry saw him at the world cup.

"Krum, do you think I ould ask you a favour?"

Viktor blinked. "You can ask." He said, after a moment.

"I'm going to be sitting at the Ravenclaw table today with some friends. I was wondering if you might sit with Hermione for me? I'd hate for her to eat alone." Viktor stood a little straighter glancing over Harry's shoulder than back to him.

Viktor gave him a shallow bow. "I would be pleased to do you this favour, Potter."

Hermione skidded to a halt near them, out of breath. She looked furious with Harry. Her bag was bulging so Harry assumed she'd stopped to stuff her book into it before running down the stairs after him. She probably could have caught up with him if she'd been willing to risk dropping a library book. Before she could tell him off Viktor walked in front of her and gave a bow. Hermione closed her mouth and glanced between them.

"May I escort you to breakfast, Hermione?" He asked, low voice rumbling.

"I...you..." Hermione stuttered. She looked down at the floor, face rosy, shy smile blooming across her face. "Yes, I would like that very much.

Harry watched Viktor lead his still frazzled, if pleased, friend into the great hall. Parvati and Lavender sopped beside him. Lavender twirled a golden curl around one of her fingers, violet eyes tracking the couples progress to the Gryffindor table.

"Are we sitting with my sister today?" Asked Parvati.

Lavender pulled her eyes away from Hermione and the famous quidditch player to throw Harry a smirk. "I didn't realise you were so assertive with your date planning Harry."

Oh. Right. "About that.."

Lavender laughed, seized his arm and pulled him into the hall. Her bracelets glinted in the morning light. "No harm Harry. We don't mind. Do we Parvati?"

Parvati shook her head. "I don't mind sitting with my sister. You should ask in the future if you plan to use as a cover, though. It's only polite." She took a seat next to her sister who was reading a book. Harry sat across from them, Lavender sliding in next to him. He did feel a little guilty. It was nice they were being such good sports about it.

Padma reached out and snatched a blueberry muffin without looking. "Morning Parvati. Lavender. Potter."

"Morning Padma." Said Harry. He piled some pancakes on his plate and poured himself some juice. It was pretty much his default breakfast at this point if he wasn't sure what he wanted to eat. Besides, every day was a good day for pancakes in Harry's opinion.

"That was very nice of you Harry." Said Parvati, out of the blue.

Harry looked up at her, blinking. "What was?"

"Same question." Said Padma, looking up from her book curiously.

"Earlier. With Granger. That was nice of you to do that." She was looking at him seriously. "You didn't have to do that. You knew her first and you're very close. You could have sat with her instead of us. You could be there right now."

It clicked and Harry choked. "No. _No._ I mean, yes it was nice but _no_. I don't have any...er...romantic inclinations toward Hermione. Really. I'm totally fine with her spending time with Viktor. She likes him. I think it's nice for her. Really." He said.

Parvati frowned, exchanging a look with Padma. "If you say so." She didn't sound convinced. Harry wondered why anyone would think he was interested in Hermione. Not that she wasn't pretty or anything. He just hadn't ever looked at her that way. They were just friends. That wasn't so unusual, was it?

_"Handle it, Quinn!"_

Harry jumped. A group of older students collapsed onto the bench to Harry's left. A bond witch with close-cropped hair and a prefect's badge glared at the two wizards across from her before turning to the girl sitting next to her. On the other side, a wizard with shadows under his eyes held his head in his hands, groaning. A wizard next to him with short black hair and a wide mouth looked displeased.

"Everything hurts. I think." Moaned the first wizard. "I'm not sure. Everything is fuzzy and my brain is exploding. Somebody make it stop." He tried to stand up and ended up half sprawled on the dark-haired wizard in an attempt not to fall on his face on the floor. The other wizard looked resigned. "I need...twins...hangover potion..." The wizard Harry was quickly realizing was intoxicated mumbled.

The dark-haired wizard pushed his friend off of him and onto the bench, though the other kept trying to wrap his arms around him. "The Weasley Twins are what got you into this mess to begin with, Callum, and I hardly feel sorry for you. I should make you spend the day like this as punishment. Let Owens rat you out. Maybe a month of detentions with Filch or Hagrid would teach you."

"Awww Quinn." Whined Callum. "You're making frowny lines." He reached out and tapped at the place between Quinn's eyebrows which was in fact creased with a line. "Don't...don't make frowny lines Quinn."

Quinn's dark grey eyes narrowed. Then he sighed. "If I help you will you promise not to be an idiot when you have classes in the morning?"

Lavender laughed quietly into her hand. She and the other witches were making a point not to watch but it was obvious they'd realized what drew Harry's attention away from them and were just as amused as he was.

Callum tried to nod then clutched at his head and groaned. Quinn rolled his eyes and reached into his robe. He glanced around, eyes stoping on Harry before dismissing him. Harry was too amused to bother being offended. Quinn held a small bottle half under the table -Harry suspected it was hangover reliever- toward Callum who seized it and downed it in one go. Slowly colour returned to his pale cheeks and his eyes visibly brightened. Callum sighed with relief.

He turned to Quinn, a look of pure adoration on his face. "You complete me."

Padma stuffed a blueberry muffin against her mouth to stifle her laughter.

Quinn sniffed, stashing the now empty bottle. "You'd do well to remember what life feels like without me in it."

Callum nodded in agreement, helping himself to breakfast now that the world wasn't spinning. Apparently, he was quite confident in whatever elixir Quinn gave him for he grabbed the greasiest foods within reaching distance and piled them on his plate. Quinn pushed a glass of water at him and then let it be. Harry didn't think this was a first-time occurrence. On that note, someone should probably do something about the Weasley Twins. Not Harry. He couldn't be bothered. But _someone_ surely.

And who knew Ravenclaws were closet alcoholics?

"You're lucky I don't turn you in." The girl with the close-cropped hair was saying. "Those Weasleys are a menace. First chance I get I'm taking them down and if you insist on falling in with them Redding," She pointed at Callum. "I have no problem taking you down with them."

Quinn's eyes narrowed at the threat to his friend. He opened his mouth to say something but Harry, to even his own surprise, beat him to it.

"How brave." Said Harry, lowly.

The witch turned to him and blinked. Her eyes took in his Gryffindor uniform and then flickered up to his forehead. "What's brave Potter?" She asked. Harry noticed her tone was much more polite with him than it had been for Callum. That only annoyed him more.

"Did you know Fred and George have three older brothers? There's a lot of them, the Weasleys, so it won't be surprising if you didn't know. I'll even tell you about them. One of them you may remember, he was head boy last year? Yeah, he works for the ministry now in international relations. Another one was here not too long ago. At the first task?" Harry continued, conversationally. "He's a dragon handler. Works out in Romania. Then there's the eldest. He's a cursebreaker contracted to Gringotts. I just thought it took a lot of guts to be willing to stir up bad blood with a family that can ensure you have no future in the ministry, is friends with the people who control your money, and could snap your neck like nothing. Have you seen Charlie? Muscles for days."

Harry turned all the way in his seat toward her, aware most of this side of the table was watching the exchange. "Brave to be so willing to jeopardize your career prospects, finances and safety just because someone is doing something you don't agree with. Even more brave to make threats against said people when their _friends_ are, well, sitting right next to you. Do you agree?"

"What?" She asked. The witch had gotten very pale halfway through his speech.

Harry rested his chin in his hand, gazing up at her through his lashes. "Do you think you're brave?"

"I…" She looked at her friend who shook her head and scooted back, not wanting to be a part of it.

"Hey Owens," Callum stage whispered. "This is the part where you walk away in humiliation."

Amidst snickers the witch, Owens, stumbled to her feet and did just that. Harry grinned to himself, turning in his seat to sit the right way. He picked up his fork to continue eating his pancakes. When he glanced up Parvati and Padma were looking at him with an unreadable expression. "What?" He asked, defensively.

"Where did_ that_ come from?" Asked Lavender.

Harry shrugged. "Fred and George are my friends. No one goes after one of my friends and gets away with it." He paused. "Do you smell mint?"

"Except for me." Draco slid onto the bench by Harry, grabbing his plate and pulling it toward him. "I always go after your friends and I've never not gotten away with it." He took Harry's fork and started eating his pancakes.

Harry blinked owlishly. "I...You...what?" A glance toward his friends showed all three witches watching wide-eyed.

Draco looked him over, then did a doubletake. "What_ have_ you done to your hair?"

"Oh, I er tried?" Said Harry.

Draco scoffed, pointing at him with his fork. "That is trying? You failed. Fail is what you did Potter."

"...sorry?" He reached up and touched his hair selfconsciously.

Draco smacked his hands. "Stop that. You're making it worse." He pulled Harry closer by his tie, examining the offending hair.

"Sorry?" Harry repeated.

"I can't keep fixing it for you. I'm not your personal stylist." Said Draco, as he proceeded to fuss with Harry's curls in direct contradiction to his words. Harry wondered if he ought to just buy his own jar of that hairstyling stuff to have on hand if he was going to be around people like Draco and Lavender more often now. It might be easier just to let them fix whatever was wrong. He might at least get fewer speeches on his failed aesthetics that way.

Parvati leaned toward Padma. "I think I'm hallucinating." Padma took a large bite of her muffin, nodding in agreement.

"At least it's a pretty hallucination." Said Lavender.

Draco paused in his obsessive hair fixing to lean around Harry and wink at Lavender. "Good morning Gryfindor I don't know the name of. Good morning Patil and Patil."

"Hello." Said Parvati, weakly.

Harry felt Lavender lean around him, her bracelets clinking. "You know Malfoy. Harry was asking for help with his uniform earlier. Any ideas in your_ not-Harrys-Stylist_ brain?" She flipped her golden hair over her shoulder.

Draco leaned back to look Harry over again. Abruptly he looked up. "New boots?"

"Oh. Yeah actually. Dragonhide. Hungarian Horntail...specifically. I've never had boots..." He trailed off awkwardly.

"They're nice."

"Thanks." Said Harry.

Lavender tapped her nails against the top of the table. "They're more than nice. I've been trying to guilt him into buying me a pair all morning." She complained. "Alas it is to no avail. He simply hasn't got a heart." The Ravenclaw students, Quinn and Callum, were watching with intense amusement. Harry supposed it was only fair with how openly he was entertained by their own drama earlier.

Draco snorted. "Just ask. He'll do most anything if you ask and isn't completely ridiculous." He took a bite of Harry's pancakes then made a circular motion with the fork. "And sometimes he'll do it just_ because_ it's ridiculous."

"I resent that." Said Harry.

"No, you don't." Said Draco. "Oh." He turned to Harry. "You're late."

"What?"

"Herbology. Fourth-year puffs left ten minutes ago. I was going to tell you but I got distracted by that trainwreck you call hair."

As one Parvati, Lavender and Harry scrambled to their feet. Stuffing last-minute bites of food into their mouths and gathering up their bookbags. Parvati ducked under the table and squeezed out from the bench on Harry's side, stumbling to the floor. Harry helped her get steady and they all took off across the hall.

"I'll just finish your pancakes then, shall I?" Draco called.

Harry grabbed an apple from a Hufflepuff first or second year as he passed their table and chucked it at Draco. The blonde caught it easily and took a bite. He shot Harry a sarcastic wave then turned back around to finish Harry's breakfast. A glance at the Slytherin table just as he left through the doors confirmed Harry's suspicions. There were no pancakes at the Slytherin table.

Prat.

* * *

**Pseudonymous Entity**

**2019**

* * *

_Thoughts, Questions, Theories, and Limericks always welcomed_

**AN:** So, that happened.

**ANx2:** Harry met some Ravenclaws in this chapter, thoughts? We saw a little of Hermione (who is mixed in this story because that's my head canon). Harry noticed he was treated better than Callum by the Ravenclaw Prefect Owens, but doesn't know why. Think you can guess? Padma ate some muffins, Lavender fantasized, and Harry's new resident tag-a-long Slytherin stole his pancakes and insulted his hair. The blonde is being nice-ish to harry as of late, ulterior motives?

**ANx3:** Brace yourselves. Anything can happen.

**-Pseu**


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